Standing In The River

Sunday night, my mother called me from St. Louis to share a dream that the Lord gave her about us. She told me that in the dream, Carol and I were leading a small group of people through a heavy, thick forest or jungle type area.

She said we led them to the bank of a river and I told everyone that we were going to cross the river and get to the other side. She said Carol and I went out into the river and stood in waist deep water and kept encouraging everyone to come on and cross the river.

Two things stood out to her in the dream: First, the water was very clear. It was so clear that she could see our feet on the floor of the river. Secondly, we stayed in the river until we were able to get everyone across. There were some who were very hesitant to cross, but we kept encouraging them until they all made it.

When she woke up from the dream she said the Lord brought to her remembrance the story of Israel, crossing the Jordan River to come into the land of promise. She said the Lord made her to know that we were in Harrisburg to bring this group of people out of bondage and into the land of promise, more specifically, into their deliverance.

She wanted to know if I thought the dream represented a literal or a spiritual land of promise, and if this was our true assignment in Harrisburg, to lead this small group of people out of the bondage they were in. She said she did not recognize the faces of the people. She only knew that she had never seen them before.

I cannot answer the questions that she asked because I honestly don’t know. I only know that what God showed her was very accurate.  We do indeed, lead small groups of people and I know we are standing in the middle of the flow of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. We are trying to live what we are teaching, so that we are presenting more than lip service, but a life service.

We are no longer assuming that we were sent to build and establish a church here. What I mean by this is: I believe God sent us to Harrisburg to build people, not to build a ministry. The best part is that I'm at peace with that. We just know that we are to stand in the river and lead small groups of people out of the jungle they are familiar with, and to cross over into the land of promise.

Mom wanted to know if we are going to return to St. Louis one day. Again, I don’t know what the future holds. God’s reason for sending us to Harrisburg, PA has been manifold and a big part seems to have more to do with our personal restoration, family reconciliation and emotional healing, than anything else.

We recall that GOD called us catalyst for this community. I know from my studies in chemistry that catalysts don't always become part of the reaction that they cause. The catalyst can start a reaction, and yet not become part of the substance. I see and understand, now, that it is possible that that's all we were sent to Harrisburg to do, as far as reaching the community goes. I’m beginning to accept that possibility.

Right now, I can’t concentrate on all of those questions and scenarios. I’m just concerned about getting this first precious group of people to cross the river and come into God’s purpose for their lives.

After we complete that assignment, I don't know what comes next for us.

A Fresh Start and A Second Chance

A lot has happened since my last entry. There's lots of pain and loss as well as some victories in between and I won't go into all of that here. Maybe I'll put in the next book that I write which will be an expanded version of chapter 9 of the my current book titled What Now?

Chapter nine deals with repairing broken places in our lives and in our hearts. In our first few months of establishing a new ministry here in Pennsylvania, a whole lot of my broken places came to the surface. One of the local pastors who befriended me told me that the first five years of their church were for him. He said the first years of a church are all about the forming and shaping of the senior pastor. He added that the people who stick with him while he's going through his process, those are his leaders. "The ones who can't go through it with you," he told me, "they are not supposed to be with you."

I learned that lesson the hard way. I discovered that I still had not gotten over the abuse we took from many people, as associate pastors. There were many years of taking blows from people in the congregation. I buried it deep inside, but when we started the work that God sent us out to do, I unleashed a lot of that anger and frustration.

Our sons and daughters who followed us here to try to help us had all been abused by leaders in their lives. So when leaders who had been abused by people tried to work with people who had been abused by leaders, all our broken places came out!

I trust that one day we will be able to reconcile. God has done a lot to heal us and restore us since that season. We are now just "regular people" working "regular jobs" and ministering to a small group of people every Friday night out of our life and marriage. GOD has caused us to prosper and excel here. I'm working in my profession of communications. Carol is working in her area of skill also. Our income is good and solid. We are connected with a good church and pastor and our children, now, have friends and young people they can connect with. Our home is, again, filled with teenagers on the weekends. It hasn't been like this, for us, for a very long time.

I pray that all goes well for everyone that had to leave us, as well. Even though we HAD to part ways because we were all still dealing with the wounds of the past, I pray that they receive the kind of healing God is giving us. We will not be able to fulfill what GOD sent us here to do without this healing.

I see that the true lesson in all of this is forgiveness. If you don't forgive the ones who hurt you, you will, one day, hurt the ones who trully love you. We all did that to one another.

I thank God for a fresh start and a second chance!